KELSEY FEINSTEIN, MSW, RSW
MY APPROACH
I have struggled with my own mental health, so this career path is deeply personal to me. I recognize the place you are in because I have been there myself & know that healing is possible. I am passionate about helping you realize and fulfill your potential by restoring leadership, balance, trust and harmony in your system. Whatever patterns are presenting in your system, these may be perfectly normal adaptations that your system developed to protect itself from pain and attachment wounds. I believe that our extreme thoughts and emotions are hard enough to have, however when we try to fight them and push them away this often intensifies the problem or makes life unbearable. I hope to offer you another approach that does not involve band aid solutions, distractions, or quick fixes; but rather involves deep personal healing. If you are reading this you likely have already tried to distract from your 'problem', find a solution to it, or tried to stop thinking about it. However, things keep triggering the 'problem', and perhaps you feel like you are on a roller coaster that never stops. If this is you, then I invite you to learn to relate differently to your inner world. My approach encourages you to learn about why your having specific thoughts, patterns, and emotions, and may support you in supporting your systems needs differently to produce long lasting healing.
My approach is empathetic, curious & compassionate. I hope to discover together how to reconnect you with your innate courage, clarity, and confidence, allowing you to transform. I believe that you have the resources to heal, but may need some support accessing your inner resources. I trust you, and walk along side you on your healing journey without bringing my own agenda. I work with you as a guide and a facilitator, following your lead and supporting you to tap into whatever is going on for you. We will always work at your pace and with your permission. I look at the context of your present and past experiences and support in understanding how your behavior is connected to your context. As a Level One IFS Trained Therapist, I use IFS and systems thinking to best support you in being the driving force in your own healing journey.
I am a Registered Social Worker and Masters Graduate from Wilfrid Laurier University. My clients value my ability to develop meaningful connections with each of them by cultivating an intentional space, that embodies companionship, inner peace, and presence, to inspire healing. I have a passion for working with adult professionals experiencing difficulties related to depression, anxiety, self-esteem, early attachment disruptions, work-life balance, juggling roles, and navigating life transitions. Adult professionals are facing particularly difficult situations as they enter a new chapter of life, especially, if they never experienced a secure safe attachment in early life. I hope to support folks in establishing a secure connection with their system by developing Self Leadership. I believe there is nothing wrong with any of us and we all have the ability to heal by accessing our inner wisdom. I would love the opportunity to truly understand your individual needs, and would be honored to walk this journey with you.
IFS TRAINED THERAPIST- MY APPROACH
Internal Family Systems (IFS)
IFS focuses on harmonizing a clients internal world by understanding and relating to aspects (Parts) of an individual and accessing ones inner resources and strength, so that individuals can heal.
You may be wondering what the heck are Parts! - well as you have been reading here or speaking to other therapists - you may have noticed a Part of you that dislikes the process, a Part of you that is tired, a Part of you that is eager, a Part that is annoyed, or perhaps a Part that is thinking about work or the kids. Parts are thoughts, feelings, needs, wants, and patterns within our system. We can view Parts of ourselves as separate entities, perspectives, and personalities within our system. Parts show up in many ways and you may hear yourself saying " I did not want to do XYZ but I could not help it" or " Part of me wants X and Part of me wants Y." Your inner dialogue may often feel very loud... and I can tell you that there is a way to turn down all of that noise in your mind!
IFS is a non-pathologizing model rooted in the assumption that there are No Bad Parts of an individual, rather Parts are sometimes forced into extreme roles due to life experiences. IFS supports you in relating to yourself differently so that you can have more agency over your automatic reactions. IFS allows us to focus inside to get to know our inner world so that we can understand behaviors, feelings, patterns, stuck points, and pain areas. IFS treats all aspects of you like inner personalities (Parts) - for example your anger is not all of you it is just a Part of you, and it may have a good reason for being angry if we try to get to know it rather than push it away. If we get curious about each Part of the system we may be able to harness the intrinsic value each Part holds.
IFS also allows us to heal Parts holding pain from the past which may impact our present functioning. Once an individual is able to heal their wounded Parts, the system moves into a state of harmony allowing an individual to be more Self-led. IFS supports individuals to respond to Parts in a calm, creative, clear, curious, courageous, compassionate, and connected manner.
"To better illustrate this idea, let’s use an analogy to human relationships. Let’s think of your anger as one of your children. Suppose you had a son whom you couldn’t control—say he threw tantrums every night. That would be bad enough, but suppose that because those tantrums drove you crazy, you constantly criticized him and tried to keep him locked in his room for fear that he’d embarrass you in public. You stayed home on weekends to make sure he didn’t run away and felt like a terrible parent because of his behavior. Suppose also that all of your reactions just made the tantrums worse because he sensed that you’d like to be rid of him. Because of the way you relate to your son, the problem comes to consume your life. The same is true with our extreme emotions and irrational beliefs—they’re difficult enough, but the way we try to handle them often exacerbates them and makes our lives miserable"
From Schwartz, R.C. (2001). Introduction to the internal family systems model. Oak Park IL: Trailheads Publications, The Center for Self Leadership. Schwartz, R.C. (1995)
To Know Thyself is the Beginning of Wisdom - Socrates
SELECT TRAINING AND CERTIFICATIONS
- IFSI Level One Training, Jory Agate Fran Booth & Carmen Jimenez-Pride., IFSI, Beverly, MA
- Internal Family Systems (IFS) Online Circle: Foundations of the IFS Model, IFSI
- Advanced Weekend IFSCA: Introduction to IFIO, Liz Phillips, IFSCA
- Advanced Weekend IFS IFSCA: Deepening your Core Practice, Derek Scott, IFSCA.
- Advanced Weekend IFS IFSCA: Healing Preverbal Attachment Trauma, Colleen West, IFSCA
- Treating Complex Trauma with Internal Family Systems (IFS) 2 Day Intensive Workshop, PESI, Frank Anderson.
- Relational Intelligence 2 Day Training, Self Therapie Formation, Francois Le Doze.
- Stepping Stones IFSCA: 16 week comprehensive IFS Course, Derek Scott, IFCA
- Emotionally Focused Therapy with Individuals (EFIT) Level Two, Dr. Leanne Campbell and Dr. Sue Johnson, Campbell and Fairweather Psychology Group.
- Emotionally- Focused Therapy with Individuals (EFIT) Level One, Robert Allan, International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy
- Journey to Acceptance and Mindfulness Clinical Competency Certification Program, Timothy Gordon, The Zen Social Worker.
- Emotionally Focused Therapy Externship, Robin Williams Blake, Toronto Centre for Emotionally Focused Therapy.
- Understanding the Foundations of Trauma and Attachment Dysregulation, Lori Gill, Certified Trauma Specialist, The Attachment & Trauma Treatment Centre for Healing (ATTCH)
- Phase-Based Clinical Applications to Promote Healing and Integration of Trauma and Attachment Dysregulation, Lori Gill, Certified Trauma Specialist, The Attachment & Trauma Treatment Centre for Healing (ATTCH)
- Healing Broken Bonds: Traumatic Attachment and Emotional Dysregulation, Janina Fisher, Ph.D, The Attachment and Trauma Treatment Centre for Healing (ATTCH).
MEEKO
I understand that coming to session can be challenging. Meeko works with me to provide safety, comfort and calm in sessions. If you would like Meeko to join you in your session please let me know in advance.
CONTACT
Mon- Fri 10am- 8pm
100 King Street West Suite 5700
Toronto, Ontario, M5X 1C7
info@kelseyfeinsteincounselling.com
Tel: 647-250-7769